As promised, I'm getting back to you on my hunches and findings regarding HSPs (highly sensitive people). After Reading Dr. Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Person, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love and The Highly Sensitive Person's Workbook http://www.hsperson.com/pages/store.htm, I feel my hunch was right on the money. Quite a few of us who are so overwhelmed by clutter, noise, decorating, consumerism, waste, lack of sunshine in the winter, sugar, chemicals and chaos, are feeling overwhelmed precisely because we are HSPs.
According to Dr. Aron:
If you find you are highly sensitive, or your child is, you need to begin by knowing the following:
- Your trait is normal. It is found in 15 to 20% of the population--too many to be a disorder, but not enough to be well understood by the majority of those around you.
- It is innate. In fact, biologists have found it to be in most or all animals, from fruit flies and fish to dogs, cats, horses, and primates. This trait reflects a certain type of survival strategy, being observant before acting. The brains of highly sensitive persons (HSPs) actually work a little differently than others'.
- You are more aware than others of subtleties. This is mainly because your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply. So even if you wear glasses, for example, you see more than others by noticing more.
- You are also more easily overwhelmed. If you notice everything, you are naturally going to be overstimulated when things are too intense, complex, chaotic, or novel for a long time.
- This trait is not a new discovery, but it has been misunderstood. Because HSPs prefer to look before entering new situations, they are often called "shy." But shyness is learned, not innate. In fact, 30% of HSPs are extraverts, although the trait is often mislabeled as introversion. It has also been called inhibitedness, fearfulness, or neuroticism. Some HSPs behave in these ways, but it is not innate to do so and not the basic trait.
- Sensitivity is valued differently in different cultures. In cultures where it is not valued, HSPs tend to have low self-esteem. They are told "don't be so sensitive" so that they feel abnormal.
I am definitely an HSP (also sometimes referred to as an empath, although that still sounds a little too woo-woo to me) and feel really lucky to be the owner of a highly sensitive dog, as well. In reading these fantastic books I was able to forgive myself for a lot of mistakes I've made. Now I understand exactly why I did what I did at the time and why certain things were and still are so overwhelming. A lot of things make perfect sense now, like why I hate Super Walmarts and love Target. I know precisely why I don't like concerts, clutter, TV, the mall, and why I do like waking up to an empty room, standing in a field and walking along the lake during the wee hours of the morning. All kinds of things now make much more sense, and I perceive a lot fewer of them as personal shortcomings.
I've long said everyone loves the sensitive person when they're writing poems, creating art and entertaining, but no one likes to see them crumble or implode. However it's a package deal, a two-fer. The same traits that make us so sensitive to beauty, passion and human suffering, also render us exceptionally vulnerable at times, even fragile. How many times have you been told you're too sensitive?
Dr. Andrew Weil's recent article on Nature-Deficit Disorder in Newsweek http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2011/10/30/andrew-weil-s-spontaneous-happiness-our-nature-deficit-disorder.html simply yet beautifully stated we were not designed to live in a world so full of stimuli. We were not designed to juggle fifty projects at once, keep up with email, Twitter, Facebook, dieting, working out, parenting, marriage, decorating, entertaining, working 40,50,60-80 hours a week, fighting traffic, etc. Think about it. If the majority of us are feeling overwhelmed, the HSPs are feeling doubly so. However we were all designed to live in nature, work in nature, play in nature and eat from nature. Just a little food for thought the next time you're feeling run down, chewed up and spit out. Get out of Dodge. Take a drive, take a walk, breathe some fresh air and eat some fresh fruits and vegetables. In other words... back to basics.
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